I wouldn’t class myself as someone who reads a ton of books, but when the time is right I find a good book to be therapeutic, gripping, and sometimes even enlightening.

Such a time came along today (as of writing) as I fly to Washington to see family, since I decided to pick up a book to read on the plane.

There wasn’t a huge selection at the WHSmith shop in the airport, but having glanced across the shelves one book stood out: ‘The Rules of Life’ by Richard Templar . I thought to myself “wow, sounds a bit ‘click-bait’ and arrogant”, but perhaps I should remind myself to not judge a book by its cover? In any case, the cover did its job to hook me in and eating my own words I had a quick flick through and was interested enough to buy it.

Now, a few hours into the flight, I’ve managed to get through most of the book and found it to be pretty good! Certainly thought-provoking at the least.

Driven somewhat by boredom (I’ve never been any good at sleeping on flights) I thought I’d share the top three rules, out of 100+, that I found particularly insightful.

Hopefully some of these rules and my personal experiences with them get you thinking about your own, but if not, well at least I will have killed some hours of flying, while my partner sleeps effortlessly by my side..

1) You’ll get older but not necessarily wiser

This rule challenges the assumption that as we get older we will get wiser..

I found this rule particularly difficult to get my head around, especially since certainly professionally, and even personally, we live in an environment where we’re encouraged to constantly improve, move upwards, get better.

This relentless drive for improvement is based in good reason, after all who doesn’t want to get better, but it can bring a side effect of beating yourself up for your mistakes both past and present.

It’s therefore important to remember that mistakes are good! Wisdom is about learning from them rather than avoiding mistakes completely. As humans we will always fail to see the mistakes that are looming in the future, this rule reminds us that we shouldn’t discourage mistakes but instead focus on how we handle ourselves afterwards. Being mindful of this, and that others are doing the same too, hopefully helps us be more forgiving and kinder towards ourselves and others.

I can definitely attest to the fact I’ve spent way too much time thinking about the past, the mistakes I may have made. I’ve felt the pressure of being wise and making the right decisions as I get older, which ultimately isn’t fair. I’ll continue to make mistakes and I must face that head on, recognise them, and learn. Accept what is done is done.

Accept I am who I am because of everything that has happened, not in spite of them.

Wisdom isn’t about not making mistakes, but about learning to escape afterwards with our dignity and sanity intact

2) Only dead fish swim with the stream

Life is difficult and the moral of this rule is to fully embrace that (else you have no choice in the direction you’ll take).

I think this rule really hit home for me because I’ve spent a lot time over especially over that last year, but definitely before that as well, being stressed about work or experiencing some kind of anxiety over a particularly big challenge that I had to face. At the time I resented that stress and my immediate reaction is to reject the cause of it as a totally negative thing, something I should expel from my life.

But when you think about it, if everything was easy, if life was a series of lovely days, we’d soon get bored. Relatively there would be no ‘good’ days, or elated feelings after solving a challenge, no chance to learn or rise above ourselves. If it never rained we’d never be thankful for that sunny day we can enjoy on the beach or by the pool.

So, the goal here is to be thankful that life is a struggle sometimes, and thats a good thing! Each flick of our tail up the stream makes us stronger and fitter.

I’ve committed myself to evaluate life and happiness not by the absence of stress, but by the presence of challenges, while acknowledging the need for balance.

3) Remember to touch base

Touching base is about remembering and being connected to where you started off. It’s about staying grounded. Reminding yourself where you belong, who you are, what your original goals and aspirations were.

This seems quite essential in an age where things move so fast, and a good way of staying true to yourself throughout the journey of it all.

Of course it’s fine to have ambition and move on somewhat from your roots, but it’s also important to know who we are and we we came from.

So where is base for you? It should be a place you feel safe, content, at ease. Somewhere where you don’t need to explain, justify, or give a good impression. It could be where you grew up, a best friend you’ve known a long time, or a place with significant meaning. Make the time to re-connect every now and then and you’ll feel better for it.

The rule describes the following, which really resonated with me personally, and why I included it in the top three. It would be an underestimation to say I get this feeling in abundance when I see my closest friends for a much needed catch-up. I’ve concluded thats how I touch base and stay grounded.

Touching base is something that, when we do it, we wonder why on earth we left it so long